[He nods, because however much he doesn't feel like it...that much he can agree with. Food should happen. It will help him feel better, he knows it. It's the same thing Polly always used to tell him too, on those days he simply...didn't want dinner.
[Basil's question confuses Fugo. It's written all over his face. He doesn't understand why Basil would ask that because, to him, it isn't even a question.]
What do you mean? I'm going with you, of course.
[Already, he's thinking about what's in the fridge. There are some leftovers, of course, which would be easiest. But if Basil is in the mood for something else, Fugo wouldn't mind making him something fresh at all. And of course he'll have to make him some tea.]
[Basil, meanwhile...didn't want to assume anything. Of course he doesn't want to be alone right now, but at the same time...if Fugo expected him to go by himself, he would have. He wouldn't have complained.
The way he says it- I'm going with you, of course- as if it never was a possibility...makes Basil swallow hard against the lump that suddenly forms in his throat, his eyes darting down for a second to look sheepishly at his feet as he pushes himself properly upright.]
Oh. R...right.
["I just didn't want to bother you" "You don't have to" "If you're busy, I can go by myself"]
[Fugo follows Basil up, reluctantly unwinding his multi-limbed embrace, the fins on his legs idly flicking to set themselves right after not having much room to move. It's obvious, between the question and Basil's following body language, that this isn't the outcome Basil was expecting. This, too, is familiar. Except this time, Fugo is the one offering an unexpected kindness.]
It's okay. [Fugo falls quiet, rolling a thought in his mind. Then, when he speaks, he offers Basil his hand.] When you're used to taking care of things on your own... it's just easier to expect that people won't be there.
[From a very early age, Fugo learned not to expect things. Of course his parents were never home to eat with them; they had more important things to do. Of course his brothers wouldn't let him into their room after a bad dream; they hated him, because being a prodigy was more novel than a matched pair of twins. Of course his grandfather would never tell him it's alright if he produced less than perfect results on a test or at the piano bench; his high expectations were meant to help Fugo grow.
Expecting nothing meant less disappointment. Wanting nothing meant hurting less, even if only by a little.]
I need to be reminded it doesn't have to be that way too, some-- [A pause. Then he smiles, a bit self-deprecating, and shakes his head.] Often.
It surprises me all the time, that I don't have to be alone if I don't want to be.
[Basil hadn't known how much he desired the contact he'd had with Fugo until they'd parted again, leaving him feeling...not as bad as he had before, but with that slowly encroaching sense of anxiety that is sortof his baseline these days. So when he offers his hand to take, he's once again left feeling surprised, because most people wouldn't do that sort of thing. When he and his friends were younger...it was normal. They held hands all the time. But now that he's older, it's just percieved as strange, or unnecessarily clingy for a sixteen year-old. Childish. Or, to hear Aubrey and her gang talk of him, weird.
But despite that, he takes Fugo's hand to hold. He's in a position right now where he isn't sure he really cares about all of that stuff.]
T-then...I think I'd rather not be alone, right now.
[He decides to be honest, too, if Fugo is going to be honest with him.]
[Casual touch is another one of those things Fugo gave up so long ago that, when others started to offer it to him, he just didn't know what to do with it. He still doesn't, sometimes. This moment is nothing more and nothing less than a reflection of all the ways Giorno makes an effort to reach him: by leaning on his shoulder, drawing him into his arms, and reaching halfway to hold his hand.]
Let's go together, then. [Fugo carefully squeezes Basil's hand, then moves toward the door.] I'll stay with you.
[And together they go. When Basil's changes first hit, and he's overwhelmed by heat and forced away from others, he'll think of this moment and wonder if he'll ever be the same again. Will he be able to feel this same kindness again? Or will he be doomed to hurt others, no matter what he does?
It's not a thought for now. All that matters now is that he's safe, and nothing can take that from him.
He'll just learn to cherish these moments, because they're so fleeting.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But before he can go...he has to ask.]
...will you still be here?
no subject
What do you mean? I'm going with you, of course.
[Already, he's thinking about what's in the fridge. There are some leftovers, of course, which would be easiest. But if Basil is in the mood for something else, Fugo wouldn't mind making him something fresh at all. And of course he'll have to make him some tea.]
no subject
The way he says it- I'm going with you, of course- as if it never was a possibility...makes Basil swallow hard against the lump that suddenly forms in his throat, his eyes darting down for a second to look sheepishly at his feet as he pushes himself properly upright.]
Oh. R...right.
["I just didn't want to bother you"
"You don't have to"
"If you're busy, I can go by myself"]
...thank you.
cw: allusions to past abuse
It's okay. [Fugo falls quiet, rolling a thought in his mind. Then, when he speaks, he offers Basil his hand.] When you're used to taking care of things on your own... it's just easier to expect that people won't be there.
[From a very early age, Fugo learned not to expect things. Of course his parents were never home to eat with them; they had more important things to do. Of course his brothers wouldn't let him into their room after a bad dream; they hated him, because being a prodigy was more novel than a matched pair of twins. Of course his grandfather would never tell him it's alright if he produced less than perfect results on a test or at the piano bench; his high expectations were meant to help Fugo grow.
Expecting nothing meant less disappointment. Wanting nothing meant hurting less, even if only by a little.]
I need to be reminded it doesn't have to be that way too, some-- [A pause. Then he smiles, a bit self-deprecating, and shakes his head.] Often.
It surprises me all the time, that I don't have to be alone if I don't want to be.
no subject
But despite that, he takes Fugo's hand to hold. He's in a position right now where he isn't sure he really cares about all of that stuff.]
T-then...I think I'd rather not be alone, right now.
[He decides to be honest, too, if Fugo is going to be honest with him.]
no subject
Let's go together, then. [Fugo carefully squeezes Basil's hand, then moves toward the door.] I'll stay with you.
no subject
It's not a thought for now. All that matters now is that he's safe, and nothing can take that from him.
He'll just learn to cherish these moments, because they're so fleeting.]