It's impressive...
[ And even now, it doesn't sit well with him. A bunch of strangers from other worlds stumble into theirs, and they set them up in the most lavish housing available, all while people are suffering in slums outside the city walls. Even the refugees from Dorchact weren't shown the same kindness, as far as he's heard. ]
And hard to believe there wouldn't be strings attached.
[ There's that silent "but," only because Fugo seems to have that same subtle wariness to him that Akira feels about the whole thing. Maybe he's just been conditioned by past experiences, but it seems strange. ]
[ And even now, it doesn't sit well with him. A bunch of strangers from other worlds stumble into theirs, and they set them up in the most lavish housing available, all while people are suffering in slums outside the city walls. Even the refugees from Dorchact weren't shown the same kindness, as far as he's heard. ]
And hard to believe there wouldn't be strings attached.
[ There's that silent "but," only because Fugo seems to have that same subtle wariness to him that Akira feels about the whole thing. Maybe he's just been conditioned by past experiences, but it seems strange. ]
[It is uncomfortable. He doesn't particularly want to talk about this, but . . . he owes it to Fugo, he thinks, to be as open as possible. At least for now, he plans to stick to that. For now, he feels strongly that he needs to push past the discomfort to at least get to that one big awful point.]
[Fugo needs to know.]
There are two bat forms, I think. The full moon form is the big one. I haven't experienced that yet. It's probably coming soon.
[Maybe this month, even. What could be better than Fugo seeing him as an awful monster bat his first month here? Incredible.]
. . . The cravings have been a problem for a while. ["A problem." Pretty indicative of how he's coping: by not coping.] I'm still not entirely satisfied with my resources for dealing with them, but that's — not relevant, really.
[He looks out into the dark, fingers curling in Fugo's sleeve.]
Are those all the changes they mentioned? [How . . . sanitized.]
[Fugo needs to know.]
There are two bat forms, I think. The full moon form is the big one. I haven't experienced that yet. It's probably coming soon.
[Maybe this month, even. What could be better than Fugo seeing him as an awful monster bat his first month here? Incredible.]
. . . The cravings have been a problem for a while. ["A problem." Pretty indicative of how he's coping: by not coping.] I'm still not entirely satisfied with my resources for dealing with them, but that's — not relevant, really.
[He looks out into the dark, fingers curling in Fugo's sleeve.]
Are those all the changes they mentioned? [How . . . sanitized.]
[His lips thin in an unkind smile.]
I'm sure they did.
[And he's sure they watered it down, too. What Fugo says next actually surprises him. He can tell what Fugo is tiptoeing around: that they at least implied, if not stated explicitly, that before their transformation is complete, all vampires must die.]
[He's almost impressed with Miss Nessie, although he'd honestly rather die twice than say it in his out loud voice. Instead, cold fingers tighten reflexively on Fugo's sleeve, as though burying them in fabric will warm them somehow. Even though he knows better.]
That's true. Vampires are undead. [He wants to stick his hands up Fugo's sleeves. He wants to be home already. He wants to lie down. He wants to go home.] I'm not undead yet. I . . .
[Someone else's blood feels like it's curdling in his stomach. He keeps his eyes forward, gaze even and cool. He is not afraid, just like he hasn't been afraid, to verbalize this fact.]
I imagine I'll die soon. And then I'll come back.
I'm sure they did.
[And he's sure they watered it down, too. What Fugo says next actually surprises him. He can tell what Fugo is tiptoeing around: that they at least implied, if not stated explicitly, that before their transformation is complete, all vampires must die.]
[He's almost impressed with Miss Nessie, although he'd honestly rather die twice than say it in his out loud voice. Instead, cold fingers tighten reflexively on Fugo's sleeve, as though burying them in fabric will warm them somehow. Even though he knows better.]
That's true. Vampires are undead. [He wants to stick his hands up Fugo's sleeves. He wants to be home already. He wants to lie down. He wants to go home.] I'm not undead yet. I . . .
[Someone else's blood feels like it's curdling in his stomach. He keeps his eyes forward, gaze even and cool. He is not afraid, just like he hasn't been afraid, to verbalize this fact.]
I imagine I'll die soon. And then I'll come back.
[Doesn't he still have such a way with words.]
[At the very least, it's confirmation that Giorno's memory hasn't failed him. Fugo is Fugo, no matter where they are. When he's willing to speak from his soul (body, mind, soul), he does so with an earnestness, an honesty, that's unparalleled. People say Giorno has a silver tongue. They don't even know.]
[His eyes are wide when he turns to look at Fugo now — when his gaze is torn from its steely forward glare to meet the eyes of someone who, regardless of how thoroughly he was manipulated to get there, is at his side now. Will not be torn from his side now.]
[They aren't so far from home. Still, it feels important — feels imperative — to take Fugo by the shoulders and draw him under the eaves of some old and darkened house. To pull him close, hold him with cold hands cupping his cheeks, the pads of his fingers taking stock of his realness, of the fact that he is so, so alive, so very present. Searching eyes gone red with high emotion catch Fugo's in the dark and hold them, staring, suddenly so starkly lonely. Fucking desperate.]
[He's going to say something dignified, or pithy, or casual, or something. Instead, softly:] Do you promise?
[At the very least, it's confirmation that Giorno's memory hasn't failed him. Fugo is Fugo, no matter where they are. When he's willing to speak from his soul (body, mind, soul), he does so with an earnestness, an honesty, that's unparalleled. People say Giorno has a silver tongue. They don't even know.]
[His eyes are wide when he turns to look at Fugo now — when his gaze is torn from its steely forward glare to meet the eyes of someone who, regardless of how thoroughly he was manipulated to get there, is at his side now. Will not be torn from his side now.]
[They aren't so far from home. Still, it feels important — feels imperative — to take Fugo by the shoulders and draw him under the eaves of some old and darkened house. To pull him close, hold him with cold hands cupping his cheeks, the pads of his fingers taking stock of his realness, of the fact that he is so, so alive, so very present. Searching eyes gone red with high emotion catch Fugo's in the dark and hold them, staring, suddenly so starkly lonely. Fucking desperate.]
[He's going to say something dignified, or pithy, or casual, or something. Instead, softly:] Do you promise?
Yeah...
[ Something about it still doesn't sit right with him. It's true that it's a big benefit for them—Akira himself has been helping with investigating the Wilde when he can—but there's got to be more to it than that, right?
Pushing out a soft breath, Akira turns his focus to adding a few finishing touches to his lantern. ]
That's got to be part of it. It's impressive they've stood against it for this long.
[ Something about it still doesn't sit right with him. It's true that it's a big benefit for them—Akira himself has been helping with investigating the Wilde when he can—but there's got to be more to it than that, right?
Pushing out a soft breath, Akira turns his focus to adding a few finishing touches to his lantern. ]
That's got to be part of it. It's impressive they've stood against it for this long.
[What Giorno asks, it's too casual. There are different words, better words, to use in reaffirming Fugo's oath. Just because he was caught off-guard, just because he was relieved, isn't an excuse for letting himself be so vulnerable. For casting it as a question rather than as a request.]
[Do you promise? Just because he's so desperate not to be alone when the time comes, and because he is too prideful to ask any of the other people he knows, even the ones who've offered. Just because he doesn't want to share his death with anyone who hasn't lost the way that he has. Just because he missed Fugo so terribly. He asked it like a frightened child, when he should know better than anyone that frightened children get what they can scrape up and nothing more.]
[And yet.]
[When Fugo responds, it's even. Assured, as Fugo only ever is in moments like this: one-on-one, when the path laid out forward is clear to him. When there is only one path, no choices. The only path Fugo sees is one in which he is Giorno's. The fork in Giorno's mind's eye, the one where he walks away, or at the very least turns his back — to Fugo, it doesn't exist.]
[I am yours, Giogio. It means that, even here, even like this, Fugo will follow his lead. Fugo will be his, just as he vowed to be back in Napoli. Monster or no, Fugo sees him as he is: Don Giovanna, just in another skin.]
[Something lets go in his posture, like one massive full-body sigh. He lets go of Fugo's face and, closing his eyes, leans in and wraps his arms loosely around Fugo's waist, rests his chin on his shoulder.]
Thank you. [Murmured, almost breathless in the crisp air.] I . . . we can go soon. Can I just — rest, for a second?
[Do you promise? Just because he's so desperate not to be alone when the time comes, and because he is too prideful to ask any of the other people he knows, even the ones who've offered. Just because he doesn't want to share his death with anyone who hasn't lost the way that he has. Just because he missed Fugo so terribly. He asked it like a frightened child, when he should know better than anyone that frightened children get what they can scrape up and nothing more.]
[And yet.]
[When Fugo responds, it's even. Assured, as Fugo only ever is in moments like this: one-on-one, when the path laid out forward is clear to him. When there is only one path, no choices. The only path Fugo sees is one in which he is Giorno's. The fork in Giorno's mind's eye, the one where he walks away, or at the very least turns his back — to Fugo, it doesn't exist.]
[I am yours, Giogio. It means that, even here, even like this, Fugo will follow his lead. Fugo will be his, just as he vowed to be back in Napoli. Monster or no, Fugo sees him as he is: Don Giovanna, just in another skin.]
[Something lets go in his posture, like one massive full-body sigh. He lets go of Fugo's face and, closing his eyes, leans in and wraps his arms loosely around Fugo's waist, rests his chin on his shoulder.]
Thank you. [Murmured, almost breathless in the crisp air.] I . . . we can go soon. Can I just — rest, for a second?
Edited 2019-11-03 03:00 (UTC)
[Truth be told, even if Fugo shoved him off, he'd be slow to move. The adrenaline of the evening has left him all in a rush. He's exhausted now, from his fingernails to his marrow, and he can tell it's going to be a bad night, physically and maybe emotionally too. The latter he can weather. The former—]
[If he were alone, he'd reiterate that. That he could weather any kind of pain. But he can lean on Fugo; that's what Fugo's told him, not in so many words. So he does.]
[There's a pleased mmhm when Fugo tentatively hugs him back, and he curls in a little closer at the touch, but otherwise he doesn't move much until he's caught his breath. For the moment, at least. After a minute or two, he sighs and disentangles himself from Fugo, tipping his chin up to look him in the eye.]
Thank you. Sorry, I get tired.
[Which is strangely freeing to say. Hesitantly, he offers Fugo his arm.]
I'd like to get inside. Are you ready?
[If he were alone, he'd reiterate that. That he could weather any kind of pain. But he can lean on Fugo; that's what Fugo's told him, not in so many words. So he does.]
[There's a pleased mmhm when Fugo tentatively hugs him back, and he curls in a little closer at the touch, but otherwise he doesn't move much until he's caught his breath. For the moment, at least. After a minute or two, he sighs and disentangles himself from Fugo, tipping his chin up to look him in the eye.]
Thank you. Sorry, I get tired.
[Which is strangely freeing to say. Hesitantly, he offers Fugo his arm.]
I'd like to get inside. Are you ready?
Yeah. It's bad out there.
[ It's impossible to forget the state of things even in the slums right outside of the walls. Entire infirmaries of people suffering from the illness, many of the residents too old or young to defend themselves should something stumble out of the Wilde.
Puffing a stream of air up at his bangs to shift them out of his eyes, Akira sets down his paint brush. Even if he's almost certain there's more to it than meets the eye, it won't stop him from trying to help those people, just like the ones in Dorchact. ]
All done.
[ It's impossible to forget the state of things even in the slums right outside of the walls. Entire infirmaries of people suffering from the illness, many of the residents too old or young to defend themselves should something stumble out of the Wilde.
Puffing a stream of air up at his bangs to shift them out of his eyes, Akira sets down his paint brush. Even if he's almost certain there's more to it than meets the eye, it won't stop him from trying to help those people, just like the ones in Dorchact. ]
All done.
[Fugo rolls with it. That makes him smile, a fond, tired expression sent sideways in the dark before they begin walking again. He folds Fugo's hand lightly between his elbow and his side — to warm his fingers, hopefully.]
I wanted to hug you when I saw you, [he admits.] But I didn't know if I should.
[Apparently, desperation breeds permission, at least in Giorno's head. He's quiet for a moment or two; thinks about saying thank you again, because he hasn't left the feeling of gratitude behind, because it's still dogging him. But he doesn't.]
[Instead:]
I live with two other people. They'll be asleep now, neither of them are entirely nocturnal, and I would have seen them at the Coven if they were out. Would it be all right if I told you about them before we get back? I don't want you to be surprised.
I wanted to hug you when I saw you, [he admits.] But I didn't know if I should.
[Apparently, desperation breeds permission, at least in Giorno's head. He's quiet for a moment or two; thinks about saying thank you again, because he hasn't left the feeling of gratitude behind, because it's still dogging him. But he doesn't.]
[Instead:]
I live with two other people. They'll be asleep now, neither of them are entirely nocturnal, and I would have seen them at the Coven if they were out. Would it be all right if I told you about them before we get back? I don't want you to be surprised.
[That's . . . interesting. Something to think about. That Fugo wouldn't mind being hugged — at any time, apparently. Curious and unexpected. He hums, marking it in his memory, even if he has no idea how he feels about it at the moment other than faintly positive.]
[There's a laundry list of facts he wants to share about his housemates, but not before Fugo adds something that makes him jerk his head around in displeased surprise.]
What? Like hell you will!
[Well, that's vehement.]
Don't be ridiculous. It's not healthy. Our waking hours will overlap fine, so go to sleep at night. [How is this a conversation he's even having right now?]
[There's a laundry list of facts he wants to share about his housemates, but not before Fugo adds something that makes him jerk his head around in displeased surprise.]
What? Like hell you will!
[Well, that's vehement.]
Don't be ridiculous. It's not healthy. Our waking hours will overlap fine, so go to sleep at night. [How is this a conversation he's even having right now?]
It's not healthy!
[Why are you like this, is the clear undercurrent here.]
There's no need, Fugo. There's absolutely no need. I won't have you making yourself sick just to indulge me.
[Which. Has to be why he's offering, right? What other reason could there possibly be?]
[Why are you like this, is the clear undercurrent here.]
There's no need, Fugo. There's absolutely no need. I won't have you making yourself sick just to indulge me.
[Which. Has to be why he's offering, right? What other reason could there possibly be?]


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